monchâteaux

A little bit of something that happened last month.

2012-03-05T13:43:00.001+08:00

Smiling is too mainstream

...... So we make faces.

Singapore Airshow 2012. Here are the rest of the pictures that were worthy enough to be put up!

Yeah, fuck you LOL jk idk this shuttle bus that we took just had to have that at the back of the seat... And the seat next to it has something like "FREE SEX! Call 9*******" Sigh, smh.

I've promised myself that I'd go back every single year. Be it alone or with my family again or hopefully *fingers crossed* with my partner. This first experience of actually being there was incredible and I've finally stopped the routine of looking out the balcony and having a free show in the comfort of my own home. It's not that fun, really. Fun is hearing the aircraft engines whirring, the sound they make as they split the air, the tricks they do so precariously in the sky and most importantly the atmosphere and buzz around you (sometimes literally because there are flies zzzzz -_-) LIVE. You just have to be there!

What sucked was that I saw more people pouring in after the aerial display. Dafuq guys, THE AERIAL DISPLAY WAS THE KEY ATTRACTION!!! You didn't pay just to look at static displays of airplanes dude -.- Anyhoo, it was great and yes this happened last month and I'm only blogging about it now......

xx

Long live the walls we crashed through

2012-03-02T23:27:00.001+08:00

Hold on
Just spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall
Can you take a moment, promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if God forbid fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children some day
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine

Rainy afternoon.

2012-03-02T19:36:00.002+08:00

Stuck at home, it's gonna be a long day at home because it's raining. Not that I'm really complaining because this weather fits my mood perfectly, but I wanna see my lovely classmates and join them for dinner at Clarke Quay. To be honest, I've never been to Clarke Quay at night. Ever. So you can more or less guess that I don't go out all that much. HOWEVER, my parents beg to differ and are always saying I'm going out too darn often. Well hey, I don't go out often okay. But when I do, I like to stay out till really late. 'Cept that my parents won't allow me to. Sigh.

So here I am on this incredibly comfortable sofa, that never fails to make me fall asleep half an hour after every time that I decide to lie on it, listening to dope music and typing this out.

Yesterday was a lot of fun! Watched The Devil Inside and it was creepy and everyone stayed in their seats just like they did when I went to watch Paranormal Activity 3. It was quite funny though, seeing everyone react the same way. But didn't manage to watch the whole movie, because Jess and I were late because we were spending a loooong time picking a present for Faiz! But then again, the movie wasn't exactly that frightening. Although the thought of being possessed scares the shit out of me, the movie didn't really scare the shit out of me.

Headed over to MFM at Marina Square and waited for the birthday boy and everyone else to come! That afro boy got the shock of his life because he didn't think that we would be there, since Sabby told him it would just be the both of them. Hahaha. That gullible boy! So there were eleven of us, me, Jess, Aslam, Sabby, Faiz the birthday boy, Bryan, Rury, Yeh Hern, Eddie, Asyraaf and Fick who was late tsk tsk.

Dinner time was fun, we all chose this flame grill/small grill combo except Aslam because he decided to have Chicken of Liberty. I know right, it's a fucking stupid name to name a dish! ANYWAY, the grill dish had freaking tiger prawns in them and I'm allergic to them. I'm allergic to all types of seafood/shellfish. So was Bryan. But the both of us decided to just try that creature of the sea this time and, I must say, it was a R I D I C U L O U S decision -_- Nonetheless, the food was great:)

The cake cutting time was funny as hell because the candles would relight themselves whenever it was blown out. THAT'S FOR YOU, since we couldn't face slam you into the cake (or knock you out cold lol reference to a Youtube video). And yes, the cake had a picture of Dora on it! Sigh, funny la you guys.

I wish I had pictures, but I don't so... Sorry:( I'll leave you to an awesum possum music video of a song that I like though.

No, like is an understatement. I absolutely love this song and watching the video makes me tear up a little. Enjoy!

Aaaand

2012-03-01T01:21:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, FAIZ FESS!!

Haven't done this in awhile, featuring and wishing people a happy birthday on my blogI mean. So I'll start back with mah nigga over here!
So you're old now. But fortunately still acting like a little mischievous boy! I don't know why's that fortunate but hahaha it's good that there's still a lot of kiddy humour in you. 19's a transition age to the real adult world and also a graduation period from being an exciting 18 year old! So I hope you have as much fun as possible today, this year and the many years to come. Wishing you all the best in everything and anything, be it growing your hair really cool like Wiz Khalifa to doing well for school! Glad to have met you:) Have a smashing good time today!

Meeting Phillip Wang and Wesley Chan.

2012-03-01T00:48:00.001+08:00

VV WONGFU4LYFE!!!

Went for the showcase, listened to them talk about themselves, watched new videos, met and greeted them, autographs, pictures and finally a hug from both of them:)

It was surreal really, to be able to meet people who are famous. I have never. This is the first time that I've actually made physical contact with well-known people. Okay, some sort because apparently some of my friends don't know who Wong Fu is/are. Do you live with Patrick under his rock?:(

And I was so into the whole thing that I conveniently forgot that I hadn't eaten lunch or dinner! Oh well. And I lost 2 kilos because of that:( But all is well because their hugs filled me up! I haven't had a hug in so so so long...

Thank you Wong Fu Productions and Soulmanna for making this happen! And thank you Celeste and Lina for the dayyyy. And they took a video of the whole auditorium cheering and stuff, so hopefully our faces show up in their video because we were seated right in front!

Much love, xx

Wong Fu in Singapore

2012-02-27T11:13:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, you might know that Wong Fu are already here in Singapore for these two event. One about SMU and the other for a meet and greet with them and I'd just like to calmly let you all know that..........
I'M GOING TO GO SEE THEM AHHHH AEIORHWECMRIT OMFG I'M GONNA SEE WES, TED AND PHIL!!!!!!!!! YAY AND I WANNA TAKE A PICTURE WITH WESSSSSS!!! GOSH OMG I'M GONNA FLIP!
Going with Mun, Celeste and Lina! Can't waittttt. Sigh. Okay, that's all I have to say for this morning. Good morning to you lovely people.
xx

Fingertips.

2012-02-25T19:09:00.001+08:00

Sick.

2012-02-25T18:34:00.003+08:00

It really sucks being sick, especially if it's the flu. I am dying so much inside and out. Le sigh

That's how I currently look like, a little teary eyed, tissues stuffed up my nose... And now I'm just reminded of the disgusting post up on 9GAG about this old tale about a prince who had 2 penises that couldn't find a wife so he died alone and when he became a ghost, he started shoving his little brothers up people's noses and that's why we have a terrible time breathing/blocked nose and also mucus coming out, because apparently his dicks are preventing us from breathing and our mucus is his "liquid". Ahh I'm just scaring the shit out of myself. I don't wanna get nose fucked:(

NEXT TOPIC. Have been cleaning my room since yesterday! It took so darn long, like 12 hours in total across two days to completely clean our room. But until now, there's still stuff left to be thrown out. Especially my stuff. I'm such a hoarder. I have too much of stuff! WHY. Dafuq do I keep in my cupboard!? Shall go check it out then chuck it out soonish once I'm not sneezing my lungs out.

Till then! And I think looking at me having just one head is too mainstream, so here's two.

I am lazy. What's new?

2012-02-23T22:11:00.001+08:00

So today I went out of the house (mission accomplished!) to just hang out and do nothing. Okay, supposedly I was to be a study buddy for my friends. They study, and I'm just a buddy over there. But oh well, you all should know what happens when a group of friends went out to study together. THEY DON'T STUDY AT ALL. Barely did. Hohoho. I'm just lucky that I'm over and done with school year:)

Anyway, I brought my tablet with me because I thought that while they studied, I could watch my dramas. But nope! Didn't manage to watch it and also they started going through my photos and stuff and I was soooooo defensive and wanted them to not look at them anymore le sigh. It's okay guys, there really isn't any porn or whatever nonsense that I'm hiding from you guys. Just... a simple picture that's it. Maybe you might know what I'm talking about, or maybe you might not. That's all I can ever say.

It was good fun and I know it probably wasn't really a good idea for me to come somehow because. But yeah, thanks for today guys:) I did really miss the whole lot of you.

AND SORRY JESS, GENIE, SEAN AND MARTYN. Especially Jess. I know you wanted me to get my ass off the couch and meet you guys but I'm always being a hugeee bitch and saying I can't go out. It's just that the night before, I was really pissed off that I had to be back home so soon. So I didn't really have the mood to go out late again. I promise I'll go out with yall again and yknw... HAJI LANEEEEEEE. Teehee.

(Blogged with Motorola Xoom)

The End has finally arrived.

2012-02-22T20:02:00.002+08:00

Hello doll faces and chiselled jaws! Yes, the first year of Architecture has finally come to an end and I must say that it did in fact pass by really quickly.

I still remember the first day very well, the first crit, my "morbid" typography that Poh thought it looked like, the second crit, the celebratory dinner with 01/02 at buttercake ice cream after the furniture workshop presentation, Sarawak trip, the... after story of Sarawak trip, term 3 and it's nonsense, just wanting to die everyday because of the work load and the short amount of time we had to complete it, semester break rolled in and a few of us went to Hong Kong and up till now a lot of the pictures haven't been posted up yet tsk, term 4 and it's the final push for the year, can't remember how many nights I had to stay up just to finish it all, submission, final crit, night out with 03/04MAT and ES tests and then the post celebration for the final day of Year 1 i.e. yesterday plus the gathering at PA Holiday Bungalow in Pasir Ris with 05/06, my lovely class. Thank you all for the great and lovely year.

Yes, I know I've said countless times that I wanna quit this course, I've cried buckets because I couldn't take it all, I've came home with a glum face and even with my parents just asking me why that face, I'd just want to cry, I've thought of giving up despite me encouraging and pushing others to strive ahead and that they can do it all. My words have no effect on me. So to all of you whom I've said that I wanted to give up, give it all up because I'm just so so tired, thank you so much for your words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, that you managed to keep my spirits up and make me feel a lot better about myself. I'll probably say that I want to drop out for Year 2, 3 and so on all the way through my architect life, if I ever get to successfully become one. But you know, the first year is always the hardest and so I really appreciate that you guys have pulled me through this wreck and torture. I'll stay with you guys forever, so please don't leave.

On a much lighter note though, spent the last few days with different people! It's really good to mix around with the other classes. It's something new and I'm just making my first year a little more fruitful. Besides, I'll be spending another 2 years with them so I have to get to know them. The sooner, the better ;)

Headed over to Haji Lane with the 03/04 on Friday for a post-submission celebration. It's was really nice for them to invite me and I have absolutely no regrets going out with them that evening! I just wished we took photos hmm... BUT, there'll be lots of those in time to come so yeah, stay tuned.

The company was extraordinarily fun, and I don't know if it was really just us or that liquid energy booster accompanied by flavoured gas that we had that eventually made us laugh hysterically all the time. And also sleepy. Haaaah. And all the stories yall shared with me, I'm just sorry I couldn't come up with anything to talk about but soon okay? Soon we'll all have stories to tell each other and stuff! Thanks guys, for last Friday night heh heh heh

Then yesterday, DARCH Year 1s had a catered dinner and as hungry architects, we ate allllll the food! Conquer alllll the tables! Hehehe. Was supposed to go for my dental but my mum told me they were closing at 5.30 so... I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO HELL YEAH but then I worry for my teeth shit:( Talked and talked, took some peekchars and all that. And then headed back to Pasir Ris........... NOT FOR HOME BUT THE BUNGALOW YEEEHAWWW ok.

Oh gosh, the bungalow was hugeeee. Really nice I swear but a little creepy though. The two storeys were so much bigger than my two storeys of this maisonette flat like duh but yeup still amazed! Went home at 10ish because my mum was calling me non-stop and my phone was already dying. Andddddd, here I am!

Spent today doing nothing but watch dramas (Dream High 2) but it's getting kinda draggy and boring so I started reading Xiaxue's blog. I LOVE HER WITT AND HUMOUR! That aside, I'm having a throbbing headache. Meh. And here's a picture of me with peanut butter and nutella spread waffle.

Camelot at Cockfosters by Råk-Arkitektur

2012-02-15T23:35:00.003+08:00

The first thing that came outta my mouth was "Holy. Shit." I mean, isn't this amazing!? It's so shiny *strokes picture on screen* It's supposedly a cultural centre in North London...... HOYEAH THE UK!

THIS. This too is just beyond amazing. It's designed by Singapore's Ministry of Design sehtnvowaerinvetgebwi I'M PROUD OF SINGAPORE. And I hate myself for not coming up with something as innovative as this for my artiste retreat:( It's freaking suitable for my clientttttt. Boo, you suck Elisya.

For you, KP.

2012-02-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

Wish I could do better, really.

2012-02-12T00:41:00.002+08:00

2012-02-11T02:28:00.001+08:00

DESIGN

is in Helvetica.

The courage to show to letting you know

2012-02-11T02:25:00.001+08:00

Night after night I hear myself say

Why can't this feeling just fade away

There's no one like you (no one like you)

You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)

It's such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose

But sooner or later I gotta choose

And once again I'm thinking about

Taking the easy way out

Fridays are starting to become terrible days

2012-02-11T02:17:00.000+08:00

As you can see, from my amateur skills in Photoshop, my boards are barely complete. Yay I'm damn screwed pls nothing else matters now except my grades. Food, sleep, money, clothes, bathing etc etc are so unimportant right now I really don't wanna fail this year:(

I don't know why but I think I have absolutely no hope in a design industry, neither have I a creative mind hence my boards' layout is one ugly piece of sheeeeet sigh

ANYWAY, HELLO GUYS. Submission isn't over yet because there was an extension so I have two essays/reports and my printed A0 boards due on Monday. I PLAN TO EDIT EVERYTHING ON MY BOARD AND MAKE IT PRIDDY SO YUP, IT'LL TURN OUT A LOT DIFFERENT....... My presentation is on Thursday. Which I really really really really really hope I do not screw up! Everyone knows my presentations are terrible. I speak like a zombie and my body language is terrible, I tend to say "Shit." quite audibly whenever I forget my words and I never ever prepare a script so I always go up and speak freely which is an unimaginably horrible idea *face palm* Yep.

This thought has been running through my mind a lot lately. But I just pray and hope that what I'm about to say doesn't actually happen to me. I am still waiting on the years to come. Really.

Sometimes, I thank God that I'm still alive, every morning that I wake up. Because despite all these sleepless nights, terrible eating habits (or lack thereof), my body hasn't given up on itself.
But sometimes, I don't feel thankful at all...

I know my body is beyond exhausted. I can never wake up in the morning, I don't respond to my alarm anymore, my eyes are bloodshot and they've gotten smaller, the dark circles are as obvious as ever, I spend so much of time looking at the computer screen and I don't rest my eyes at all, I sit with a bad posture and I just don't treat this body well at all. Why I feel like death is a better option is because I don't have to feel myself suffer. I won't see the effect it has on me as I wilt away day after day.

Final final final week

2012-02-06T23:43:00.001+08:00

Just a quick one, so you guys would know what's going on with my life and assured that I haven't turned into a zombie because of this course!

Having 7 submissions this week, a final model today, a photo essay and a report tomorrow, the 4 A1 boards in jpeg format, printed A1 boards on Friday along with the history essay and the entire portfolio! Yuppa, a whole load of shits to be submitted. Trying to handle it all on my own. Next week is crit week and I'm super nervous because I don't wanna present like a zombie/Frank Sinatra sigh I really hope my presentation skills improve by then... I NEED AT LEAST 2 As THIS SEMESTER!!!

Okie bye come back here soon k! xx

2012-02-02T12:48:00.003+08:00

HELLO GENIE, SEAN, HAZEL, YOK CHAN

Almost February.

2012-01-31T23:35:00.001+08:00

Is it just me or does everyone else feel like there are just 20 hours instead of 24 in a day now?

I don't know man. Every day finishes too quickly. I still remember everything so well. First day of school, orientation day and all that shit. Plus it feels like I haven't done much during year 1. It's just submission after submission but I don't feel it at all now. Year 1 is coming to an end. Though I can very well say that my first year in this architecture course has been nothing but sleepless nights, quick and fiery temper, tears, aches, a lot of money spent, a lot of weight gained and just physically and mentally draining, Year 1 has also been a lot of fun. Currently I do not have the ability to draw out flowery vocabulary from my mental dictionary but yeah you get the idea:)

Year 1 was one heck of a exhilarating/exhausting/exciting roller coaster ride! Tons of lessons learnt, brand new experiences, new friends made. The lists goes on and on but I'll just stop for now, since I'm trying to complete some work.

This was just a quick update! Will be ending the semester/year in February and then it'll be vacationnnnn! Mmm sweet smell of relaxation! I can't wait for the new freshies to come by in April too arn;voiaemorpewqtgpgtfl damn excited plssssss! Gonna help out to orientate the Year 1 archi kiddos and just try to give them a heads up in what is to come their way. Hurhur. Or not.

That's all I have for now buhhhyyeee xx

I can see it in your face, the hope has gone away.

2012-01-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

If you hold tight, shadows will be lost in the light.
Oh 'cause sometimes, fate and your dreams will collide.
So don't walk away from me.

넌 내게 반했어

2012-01-23T23:48:00.002+08:00

안녕하세요. 내 이름은 엘리사입니다 (Annyeonghaseyo. Nae ileum-eun Elisya ibnida)

I......... Have gone back to my K Drama interest! Was thinking of what to watch on Friday and I ended up watching Heartstrings ( 넌 내게 반했어, Neon Naege Banhaesseo) because I remember Kin saying that this drama was pretty good. And yes, I can't help but agree. Then again, if it wasn't any good, I wouldn't have watched it till the end! I have this thing, that I only watch dramas that involve school romantic comedies, occasionally those young adults and they meet at work or something. I prefer the modern settings than those traditional olden settings. Except for Princess Hours! They were a mix of both. Meh. I cannot be stopped when I start watching Korean dramas. I've moved on to another drama after Heartstrings. Currently watching You're Beautiful. And the reason why I'm watching it was because it was on TV the other time and I thought it was a pretty good show and the second reason was that the show has Jung Yong Hwa and Park Shin Hye, whom both acted in Heartstrings as the lovers. So yayyyy <3 Hehehe.

If you guys are gonna start thinking that I'm just another Korean fan, then you need to know that I don't fangirl for very long. Because once this "phase" is over, it's over. Until I really have nothing else to do but watch more Korean dramas:) Don't worry, I will not start putting up more Korean boys' faces up in my blog. In fact, I rarely put any boys' face on my blog more than twice. So yup, you're safe enough to continue reading my blog lulz

This is currently the song on repeat for me.

I know a lot of you wouldn't bother clicking on the play button but pleaseeeee if you watch the video, I get very weepy at the part where he looks like he's crying (1:15) sigh.

It speaks so much about how I'm kinda feeling right now. And if any one of you reading this are facing a hard time in your life right now, this helps a little. It makes you bawl your eyes out which is really good for you, trust me. You just wanna let all the shit out, take off the cap of the bottle that's been holding up all of your feelings.

OH, and what I like about this Yong Hwa is that he's from a Korean rock band and not a boyband. To be honest, this is the first Korean rock band that I know of because all the other guys who acted in the dramas I watched were from boybands. So thumbs up, you've got my approval for... I don't know what but yeah. And I also love how Shin Hye/Gyu Won dresses in the series!!!!! Like woah very wearble in Singapore you knowww! Shall go shop for clothes like that soonish mwahahah

Mm so I have three favourite scenes from this drama series. One's the one where he's singing this song alone in the Catharsis/Tea House and the other one's where the two of them go on a date to this art gallery/exhibition and they get really silly in there. There was one part where they were in this boat and they were like "Okay let's paddle." and their expressions on their faces were so straight and it made me laugh because it's a cute date heeee it's in episode 11 and sigh I would really love to have a date like that one day........ And the last one was when he says to her "Do you want to know what my wish is? It’s for you to like me again." when they were sitting on the stage late at night during their MT. MY WISH, EXACTLY. Ok you didn't have to know that but well that's what I'm really wishing for right now but I can't force it right so yup nvm then.

Anywayyyy.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ERRRBODY/恭喜發財 GONG XI FA CAI
Didn't get to celebrate this year because my dad and sis are overseas hence we can't drive to KL just in case anything happens and we have to be in Singapore. Or that it wouldn't be nice to go with two family members not present. So no hong bao, no reunion dinner, no yummy cookies from my cousin and aunt, no seeing my baby nephew. Just gonna sit at home and watch more dramas...

I've been thinking about doing vlogs but you know I don't have a good camera and the laptop's webcam is sucky so I'm waiting to get a new camera and I'll begin with my new vlogging because sometimes typing it all out is kinda tiring even though I love to write/type.

Yay k bye! Shall return to my sad state and listen to the same sad song
xx

My two favourite boys in the whole wide world

2012-01-18T01:05:00.001+08:00

Title says it all, 'nuff said.

Rick Genest (aka Zombie Boy) and Wiz Khalifa.

Sean Paul - She Doesn't Mind

2012-01-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

Hands up high we burnin' up the sky
We got the dance floor crazy
We got the club on fire
I like the way you dance
You got me in a chance
Hello Sean Paul I freaking love you because every song of yours is fucking amazing yeah BIG FAN OVER HERE SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TOUR AND COME TO SINGAPORE FOR MEEEEE LOVE YOU MWAH xx

One Direction - One Thing (Acoustic Video)

2012-01-17T01:08:00.000+08:00

Now I'm climbing the walls

But you don't notice at all

That I'm going out of my mind

All day and all night

Not a big fan but it's a really beautiful song, especially since it's an acoustic version! I like how everyone of them finally gets to sing their own solo so yup *two thumbs up* Oh and Louis looks like he's had my hand in his hair.............. Mwahhh xx

Crystal Castles

2012-01-17T01:02:00.000+08:00

cha·teau also châ·teau

n. pl. cha·teaus also châteaus or cha·teaux also châteaux

a. A French castle.

b. A French manor house.

2. An estate where wine is produced and often bottled, especially in the Bordeaux region of France.

3. A large country house.

I didn't really know why I decided that I should have "my castle" in French as my web address but hey I like:) Or maybe it was because I loved the French a lot and I was nicknamed French Bitch back in secondary school, and also with my keen interest in huge houses like mansions and castles. Aha, no surprise that I'm in architecture right now. K

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

2012-01-16T01:44:00.001+08:00

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end,
You're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am

Best friends with a side of love and a cup of hot tea

2012-01-16T01:34:00.001+08:00

I'm guessing everyone has that one friend of the opposite gender whom you never really predicted that you'd ever develop feelings for. It happens all the time. I've never not known two friends, a guy and a girl, not eventually start to have feelings for one another. It's just impossible, an unexplainable fact.

First there's the odd memorable first day that you start talking to the person. It could have just been a simple greeting, for me it was a Hello:). It's funny how I never thought I'd ever be friends with you, or even get to talk to you! But hey, look at us now. Look at where we both are! If I wasn't your friend, would we be here right now? If I wasn't your friend, how would things have turned out? So the friendship starts out so casual, and then eventually become good friends because we help each other in whatever. In whatever.

Let's just say I was the one with boy troubles and I was trying so hard to cope and get back up on my feet. And you were there. I don't know what you did, but you undoubtedly made me feel so much better each and every day. But I still think about it. I still think about how it all was and then I get sad again and the whole day, our conversations would only revolve around one thing, which was my problem. Almost a year later, I start to feel a lot better. I don't think about it as much, I'm feeling... Well, much more complete with you around. And then one fine day, I took the risk to actually tell you about how I feel. And then you tell me the same thing too. And that every time you get to see me, you'd feel a wave of... Just feeling lucky that you've got someone like me. School wouldn't be the same without me or you around.

There are two ways in which a situation like this would most likely end up like: There's progress and something good happens. Or there's just awkward waiting time and nothing happens. For me, it just got weirder and weirder as days passed. We both knew how we felt but we didn't want to do anything about it. In fear of spoiling a friendship. In fear of a new beginning. In fear of another sour end. And then we'd get into fights and quarrels and arguments, almost all the time. I don't even know why we fought! Do friends actually ever fight about the things that we fought about?

It abruptly stops then. We stop talking for a while. But when we did, it was empty talk. It was more of like being polite to just reply and ask simple questions to each other like "How's your day?". Sometimes the conversations were too painful to go through with that I just hoped that the day would end soon so I get to say goodnight. I wouldn't say what made up my mind and how I finally decided that maybe it's best if we were just friends, however I will say this: I'd rather not have you as a lover, than lose you as a friend. Everyone says that their lovers are their best friends; a romance partner who fills in the job as a best friend too. But for me with you, you are a best friend who'd fill in the job of a lover but with just love as a friend.

So yup, I'll just be there for you. Again. I'll help you through it all even if it'll ache that I'm helping you to be happy with someone else. I still feel it sometimes, but what makes me want to throw the thought and feelings out is that if we make one wrong move, we're gonna have to face it for another two years.

I couldn't tell from the first day that we would end up this close. But how can we say that we're really good friends when we don't know the simplest things about each other? Yes, we've talked about many deep things but ours was something totally opposite. We understood each other's souls before we memorized one another's surfaces. It's like hearing your voice before seeing your face.

If you'd like to know, it was Valentine's Day of '11 when we got "married".

Here's my sister for you:

2012-01-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

Would any sane person just simply study and get a Bachelor in Mathematics? For fun. Apparently my sister is doing just that. And the funny things about it is that she's getting this degree without any job scope in mind. How is it that maths is so important in life and you need it to bring you somewhere up there yet when you get a Bachelor in it, or if you can a Masters, you have no where to go? But having one is just so impressive in everyone's eyes because it's a completely complex subject. It's not just about addition, subtraction, multiplication or division. There's way more things than that. It's deep, maths is a deep deep subject. An abyss of numbers. There's logical maths, which is pretty ironic because usually maths makes no sense to kids like us. There's philosophical maths too. It puzzles me how my sister takes maths as if it's like a colouring book!

Anyway, it's been a week since she's left for Germany. Some times I'd expect her to be at home when I come back home but of course she wouldn't be there. She's a thousand miles away, so yes read this everyone and know that I miss my sister. I know she's enjoying herself at somewhere she's always wanted to go, but definitely not as much as me! I've been dying to go there since forever. See you in two weeks fatty!

xx

Give me a break

2012-01-13T01:06:00.001+08:00

WHO SAYS ARCHITECTURE STUDENTS DON'T DO MATHS!?!?!?

Why do we have to calculate the gradients?
Why do we have to plan out all the drainage?
Why do we have to know about toilets and their pipings?

Meh. I'm just going nuts because I have...... Oh, just a million and one submissions. What's new?

Page 11 or 366

2012-01-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hello guys, sorry I've been away for a weekish. I was sick, yes sick. You need to know that I am one who hardly gets sick, but once I do, it's really hardcore and this time, I even had to give school a miss for two days. Sigh. Oh well, I'll go get back to yall with whatever that's happening and worth mentioning about soooooon! I just need the time to type a proper post out:( Swarmed with assignments as we archi students usually are.

Much love xx

AND OH, JUST GONNA STEAL THIS PHOTO OF ME AND THIS MESSY BOY FROM FACEBOOK. First time in my whole life in poly that I've actually bumped into him. No surprise that his whole purpose of being at the balloon stall was to look at pretty gurlzzzz sigh things never change hahahahahah I hope you're reading this bat!

The tiredness I feel makes me want to sleep forever

2012-01-03T19:36:00.000+08:00

These are just a few of the pictures that were all developed. More over here or at my Facebook page!

Page 2 of 366

2012-01-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

I know I'm 47 hours late but a very happy new year to everyone reading this and I really hope that this year will be a better year for us all, as compared to last year. Not complaining that last year sucked balls, because I honestly did love most of my 2011. Every year had it's moments, no doubt about that. But let's just say that this time, 2012 will be the best year yet:)

So I haven't exactly gotten through with my new year's resolution. I came up with just three right before the new year rolled in.

Be less ignorant (especially about the people around me)
To not swear. I can pull through the remaining 364 days
Take a photo everyday to make a 2012: 366 Days album (apparently I've already sorta missed the first two days so.........)

2011-12-30T16:46:00.000+08:00

Hello I hate being disturbed I hate to be forced to do things I hate that I get bugged at the wrong time all the time I want to do the things my way and at my own time if you're not happy with the way I do things then go away please I know I always put the people I like first before anyone else yes I do have favourites that's just how I am it depends on my mood if I wanna be on time for something or not if it can wait, then I will let it wait I don't like being bugged and pestered with all the notes and to dos and where I should be at this time this day and what transport I am going to take and where my location is I'll be there if you're there simple just stop it so yup thanks

We both knew this type of life didn’t come with instructions

2011-12-30T13:05:00.000+08:00

I am loving Neon Hitch's orangey hair, and how she can totally pull off blue eye shadow, liner and mascara without looking like she got punched in the eyes and her nose piercing(!!!). This is what I call sexy. Also, she's like the me I never got to be because I've always wanted that hair colour, her nose piercing and also try on blue mascara because I think it's pretty cool. Mwahhh much love for her xoxo

So 2011 is coming to an end and 2012 is gonna start. A brand new year to start over, a brand new year to redeem myself for all the things that I've done this year, a brand new year to make things right. I know that I will not be a changed person immediately when the clock strikes 12, but I'll try. I'm gonna start on my list of new year's resolution! I'm going to write it down in every notebook I have, type it down in the notes in my phone, paste it on my bedroom wall. I'll have it everywhere and anywhere so that I'll remind myself to do exactly all that! I hope it works out. But the thing is that I haven't thought of what I would like to do next year. I don't want to just let it be. I've been allowing my past few years to just "let it be". 17 years of letting it be, it's time for a change! But nonetheless, the past 17 years of my life has been very... Life's just been worth living for.

Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa - Young, Wild and Free ft. Bruno Mars

2011-12-30T12:24:00.002+08:00

So what we get drunk?

So what we smoke weed?

We’re just having fun

We don’t care who sees

So what we go out?

That’s how its supposed to be

Living young and wild and free

If only

2011-12-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

Oakham Market was my wardrobe for days when I feel like dressing up.
ModCloth was my wardrobe for days when I just want to wear a dress and something simple.
Forever 21 was my wardrobe for days when I'm too lazy to dress up.
Cotton On was my wardrobe for days that... Um well I just want it.
NTUC and Cold Storage was my pantry.
Famous Amos was my cookie jar.
EpiCentre had all my gadgets.
Ikea was my playground.
Starbucks was my coffee-making machine in the morning and those late nights.
You are here to go on adventures with me anywhere and everywhere.

I would be the happiest girl on Earth.

With a million bucks, I would...

2011-12-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

HELLO SAL STYLES, ATIQAH, SYAHIRAH, ABI, GENIE, DANA, KIN, JESS AND ANY OTHER GIRL READING THIS! YOU NEED TO TAKE NOTE OF SOMETHING VEEERRRYYYY IMPORTANT!
Idk if you guys already know about Oakham Market in Ann Siang Hill, because if you haven't we should go down there to buy the whole damn shop! They have like a billion vintage clothes in their shop!!!!! And the best part is tat they have a whole lot of different skater dresses and also they have original Dr Martens that sell for 49.90 - 59.90 depending on whether it's high or low cut! DOESN'T THIS SCREAM "SHOPPING TIMEEEEEE!!!!" FOR ALL OF YOU!?!?!?

Go go go see their Facebook group page and scroll through the pictures and get clothes orgasms!! Go go goooooo!

(Mwahahaha and thank you @sabbyslvr for tweeting about it!!!! Greatest tweet I've ever read so yay)
(And did I mention that almost everything is selling at 16.95?)

Come What May - Moulan Rouge

2011-12-26T09:57:00.001+08:00

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Dusty best friend

2011-12-26T00:30:00.001+08:00

So I can't scan in the pictures of my Hong Kong trip into the laptop because my printer/scanner demands that I replace the empty ink cartridge before doing anything else. I don't even see how scanning requires any ink so -_- Now that I can't scan them in, I can't upload them on Facebook nor can I blog about HK.

Also I was invited to Lina Horan's chalet which is... Later in the afternoon ^^b Fun! And with good news, there's always bad news. My mum found out that the one-off job I'm working at this Saturday was a bar so she was so against it and forced to tell Krista that I can't make it. I was pretty unhappy about it because sometimes I just want to do what I want but as always, I can't. But anyway, Krista said the job required me to be 18 or above, oh well. Mum got her wish.

Here I am, gonna spend my NYE/NY at home like I always have for the past 17 years. Now I shall return to the world of #foreveralones xx

Late night thinking.

2011-12-25T03:31:00.001+08:00

Well hello there, nocturnal humans. Time check, 02:52am. Laptop battery at 11%. Brain is functioning at an exceptionally slow rate. But I'm thinking, I keep thinking.

No, actually I hardly think. About you. I've thought about you for so long that suddenly I start to forget. Where are you? I mean I know exactly where you are, but you're a million miles away right now. When you're away, I do things I'm not supposed to do. I go out so often that I neglect my other friends and especially my family that really wants to spend time together. I eat way too much. I sleep way too little when I'm supposed to but sleep through the day. Sometimes your name would pop up on my screen because the inbox is a bit screwed and malfunctioning and I'd see the last text you sent. And I'll always be reminded of the time where I was trying to cheer you up and you said you just wanted to see her name on your phone's screen. Then I sent a message to you with just her name in it and you told me it made you smile. That was the best. Not only did I make you smile, but you telling me that I made you smile just brought an overwhelming feeling over me. Then I go back to that day. The day which I think was such a stupid day and I shouldn't have forced it out of you. I shouldn't have known. You shouldn't have told me. Why did you have to say that you wanted to talk to me when you got back? You know that things would never be the same again. You know that you are a man of your words and I believe that. I also believed what you said that night. You definitely would have thought about whether you wanted to tell me about it or not. But for now, why does it feel like you regret telling me that?

I cannot deny that I preferred it when we were just that, and nothing more. I would be lying if I said I'm fine with how we are. How we are now is basically nothing. But what else can I do right? (I know, many of you have went "Don't say that. You have to do something about it!" But really, there is nothing else for me to do except... To wait) Oh well, I'm used to this shit... No, wait. I shouldn't complain about guys always dumping me and whatever nonsense! Because if you've known me for only quite some time, there are things that you should know about me.

Yeup, confession time! Time to bear my soul and talk about my deepest darkest secrets... Hey, it's ungodly hour, what's stopping me? But I bet in the morning, I'm gonna regret typing this out for billions to read, but ah the heck with it. Let's do this shit!

I'm not tryna brag or anything, it's not even worth bragging about but I have to tell the truth in order to tell you my story right? So yup, I've had... Suitors. Many. And the thing about me is that I'm such a noob and clueless bitch that I can just talk to them real friendlyly and unknowingly lead them on. According to my bestfriends, the way I talk to them and text them makes it seem like I'm interested in them but honestly, that's just how I converse. I'm over-friendly. I over doing things that makes others get the wrong signal. Yeah, maybe I'm a flirt to you but really, I'm just fucking clueless and oblivious to the people who actually like and have feelings for me. And when they do tell me about it, I have to tell them that I don't feel the same because truthfully, that's the truth! So, #1. I am an oblivious person.

I also trust my instincts a lot because it's always true in the end. Like if a certain someone likes me and I can tell, I'd start to talk less to him and then eventually ignore him. Yeah ikr, please slap me. I ignore a lot of people and karma just hits me right back. So technically I'm unintentionally getting people to ignore me wtf. I also come up with many weird conclusions and reasons when something goes wrong between me and someone (generally, not just between a guy) and then... BAM! I feel like a psychic, like Madame Gypsy Winkles because I'm right about it. But it sucks you know? I don't want to be right about it. I would rather be paranoid and wrong than be right about something bad.

I'm just a mean girl okay. A mean mean girl. Who can't stop thinking about this boy. Sorry to be so cheesy and whatever but hello, I miss you quite terribly.

Right. Time, 03:31am. Battery at 1%. Quick post. Night night xx

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2011-12-25T00:42:00.002+08:00

Spent Christmas Eve with Jess's church group at MacPherson! It was friggin fun I swear. I have enjoyed my time there and it was such a new experience. Food was great. Pizza, chocolates, fruits and oat dessert, blue jelly, nuggets and the best of all, LOG CAKE! My belt was pretty tight by the end of it all hehehe

Before any of you question my presence at an event that isn't actually part of my religion, my parents really don't mind me going out and about and experiencing the practice of other religions. I can go to temples, churches and what not! So yup, as long as I don't disregard my religion or convert, they are happy that I'm mixing about.

Let's see... It's been quite happening for me for this year's end of year events. I never went out the previous years, because I couldn't. But now, times have changed and I'm a little grown up. This year, on New Year's Eve, I'm gonna be working with Krista at Cafe Del Mar in Sentosa and hopefully my friend agrees to work with us! (So Darryl if you're reading this, which I know you wouldn't be but nvm, PLEASE WORK!!!) It's a $10/hour job. Who wouldn't want it tell me!?!?

I've also applied for lifeguard in RWS's water park that's gonna open in May/June and some events position to pass the time before I get my lifeguard job there. But they haven't called so um... *rejected* Also, I might be going for an interview for A&F (Yay, hotties!) soonish. A&F is a wonderfully new store in Knightsbridge because it's like a club in there! Dimmed lights and loud music. Hmm, not bad ;)

Then Atiqah's having a flea with Ika on NYE too. I'll be there to visit and help out a little lulz then off to work at Del Mar. 6pm to 6am shift, fyeah! Alsoooo, we're both picking out clothes on the online F21 store because they're having a 1-for-1 sale! Mwahhh life's good ^^ Everywhere's having a fricken' sale!!!

One last picture for ya'll! My octopus-like hair in HK throught Kikkin's camera

Merry Xmas errryone
xx

If it means a lot to you...

2011-12-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

f e m a l e s

2011-12-20T21:24:00.001+08:00

Just a thought. Don't get us wrong, even though it seems like we are always going for bad boys and after that complain about it and then tell the whole world that "Urgh boys suck! Where are all the good guys?", it's not what it seems. We don't intentionally go for bad boys. What happens is that we think that this person is a good person, yes we think, but in actuality, he's not but we wouldn't know right? And only after a long while do their true colours show and then something bad happens to the both of us and the cycle of "Boys suck" repeats it's damn self.

(I can't believe I fell asleep while typing half of this)
xx

Pre-Hong Kong

2011-12-18T13:24:00.001+08:00

1. Submission of mock up 1:100 scaled models of our retreat on Wednesday, 7th December.
2. DARCH/FT/1B/05 & 06 celebrates Christmas
3. My packed suitcase which was half packed so that I can stuff my shopping items in the other half when I come back. Smart packing ;)
4. Window seat for me on the flight to Hong Kong

CHANGE

2011-12-18T03:37:00.002+08:00

Next big spend goes to.....

2011-12-18T01:20:00.000+08:00

Nikon 1 J1, the one in red! Chio right!? Yeah I've set my eyes on that pretty thing. Probs not gonna get a DSLR anymore, just a MIL camera!

I also want a Frank card from FRANK by OCBC!

DADDY, PLEASE APPLY A DEBIT CARD FOR ME PLEASEEEEEEEEE

City skyline of Hong Kong

2011-12-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

(Source: Wiki)
Click to enlarge!

Hong Kong, The Honkie Donkey experience

2011-12-17T19:51:00.000+08:00

My five days and four nights trip in Hong Kong was just brilliant. Okay, apart from the fact that I dropped my camera and consequently, it has a cracked lens and that I accidentally ate pork, everything else was just a brand new and refreshing atmosphere for me.

Okay I'm terribly sorry for the lack of updates. My two weeks have been quite hectic! Submission week was the last week of school and the amount of sleep I had for that week is equivalent to the amount of sleep I just had since 11pm last night until now (approx. 14 hours)! Ikr what a pig I've only been awake for about 3 hours today.

Day 1: Airport, checking in at 6am, window seat on the plane, 4 hour flight to Hong Kong, watched Monte Carlo and Crazy Stupid Love, had a good and filling lunch on board, arrived in HK at 11ish/12 and tugging my luggage along was damn tiring, Regal Oriental Hotel, triple bedroom, free and easy, dinner, to some place to look at the city view, a little bit of shopping at the street market, scary people who look like they wanna punch you if you don't buy their things, sleep.

Day 2: Late for breakfast, yummy custard buns for bfast, urban walk around Kowloon City, all the public houses, apartments like HDB but just much tinier, visit to conservation sites, Shek Kip Mei and Sham Shui Po, went to the City University of Hong Kong and had lunch there with some of the students, went to the CBD area, public escalators, many many slopes and hills, every building is built on the mountain side, reached this bridge where it has a spectacular view of Central Plaza like the side houses and the road and the sky are framing Central Plaza it was so damn gorgeous I swear, fresh and warm egg tarts, walked past many street wet markets, went to the Peak at night and the view there was breathtaking and the weather was cold as cold I love it!!! We also kinda unknowingly bumped into some Korean pop stars and only knew they were pop stars after a group of ladies started screaming and squealing when they saw them lulz.

Day 3: Western Market, dropped my camera, lens cracked, Man Mo Temple, to dah city againnnn, egg tarts and more pastries at the same shop, lunch at some congee shop, shop owner could tell that we were Singaporeans, went to see a lot of high rise buildings, stood on the roofs of many buildings, went to a cathedral, FREE AND EASY! Dinner at Food Republic, shopping shopping shopping at posh posh places, H&M, Midnight Rose perfume which I finally bought and wifi in the hotel lobby and my first check in on foursquare in hong kong!!

Day 4: Breakfast, 4 out of 5 of the dishes were pork, I want bunssss, City U, Year 2s shared their projects on high-rise buildings, VERY VERY VERY IMPRESSIVE SINCE THEY ARE ABOUT THE SAME AS US BECAUSE THEY TOOK A LEVELS BEFORE ENTERING UNI! Lunch, visit to Hong Kong Institute of Architects, the idea of their "shop" that sits beneath a flyover, first meeting with Ronald Lu, went to his office and got to know that he's worked with Frank Ghery and had a private informal meeting a long time ago with his son Bryant Lu and I M Pei to discuss which Uni Bryant should attend to get the best education on architecture. I'M SERIOUSLY IN AWE LIKE WHAT ON EARTH HE GOT TO MEET I M PEI JUST TO TALK ABOUT WHICH UNI HIS SON SHOULD GO TO BRYANT WAS SO PRIVILEGED AND NOW HE'S WORKING AT HIS DAD'S FIRM TOO. I hope he has a son...... JKJK And the tour around the office was really um depressing because they were doing so much of work and everything was so familiar, seeing the complicated autocadding that they do, the massive amounts of A1 and A0 papers makes it seem that A4 papers are non existent in an architect's life, saw Opus from an office window sitting stunningly on the mountain side with the windows reflecting off the afternoon sun, it was just beautiful admiring it for 5 seconds. THURSDAY WAS JUST THE BEST.

Day 5: Last day, woke up and had wonderful breakkie at the same place we had our custard buns, brought some home, was late in checking in, took awhile to board the plane because immigration was a long queue, all of us ended up at the back of the plane since we checked in late, wifi in the airport was useless, four hour long plane ride home began with me watching CAPTAIN AMERICA WEEEEE HEHEHE been wanting to watch that for ages, but I paused the show halfway because I was so damn sleepy, fell asleep for quite a while because when I resumed my movie it finished just in time before we reached Changi Airport, the lunch on the plane was good because dessert was tau huay yummy yum yum and then while I was asleep they placed a fortune cookie on my table and it said that if I work hard, I'll get rewarded and my boss will be happy! Heh. Was great upon reaching Singapore, I absolutely love the arrival halls of the airport! Gathered, got our luggage and went home:)

So I am waiting for everyone to upload their pictures so that I can just steal them and use them for my post muahahaah I would use mine but given the circumstances that I have to wait for my films to be developed... So yup

Tomorrow is the day.

2011-12-03T19:31:00.001+08:00

Yup, 10km run tomorrow morning. I hope I can make it... I have to make it. I was calculating my time in the shower and if I can run consistently, and every 4km for me is like 20 minutes and 2 km is 10 minutes, my timing should possibly be 20+20+10=50 minutes for the entire thing. But you know, last year my timing was a miserable 1:30 hours lol failure.

So I'm just hoping I won't give up so easily and continue mentally scolding myself if I ever slow down. I'm always having a conversation between the will power in my head and the muscles in my body......

2) Starbucks 1-for-1 that Jessica bought for the both of us! Mine was the cranberry one yummy:) I love her very very much hehehe. I didn't ask for the coffee but she thought of me and got them awww. I really really need to find a way to show my appreciation and gratitude for the many things she has done for me. Hmm...

3) My loot that I finally got from GMarket Korea. My red double-breasted coat, a wine coloured sweater dress, a red sweater, a black long sleeved flare dress and my sand coloured tote bag. All that coasted me $98. Ouch *wince*

4) The MAT structural model that I made. It was missing a few beams... I'm so screwed.

5) Jess, Genie and I bought an accessory for our 35mm plug for our phones at a flea yesterday night. Jess got a Stitch I think, Genie's was Tzuki the rabbit and mine's this huge pig from Angry Birds teehee

That would be all. My week summarised.

Movember :{D

2011-12-03T13:00:00.000+08:00

(Delayed)

So yeap, yesterday was my 17th birthday and though I (think) didn't do much, it was still fun for me!!

On Friday, the eve of my birthday, I went for the Good Charlotte's concert at RWS Hard Rock Hotel! It was organized by Jack Daniel's so there definitely were alcohol around but fret not, I didn't drink:) Be proud of me people. I DIDN'T DRINK. I bet I wasn't the only underage person there but I can safely say that I think I was the only 16 year old there. Hahaha.

Seeing Joel Madden singing less than 5 meters away from me just took my breath away omgafkdfljmjve!!!! IT'S JOEL WITH HIS SLEEVE TATTOOS AND DIY STUDDED DENIM VEST OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE. And they sang/played We Believe, which they claimed was the second time in their tour that they've done that. So thank you GC, you guys made my birthday eve a very eventful and lovely one. I admit I'm not the biggest fan but still, I grew to love you because of my brother. Oh and bumped into some of the PRCS/senior peeps! RWS was beautiful, I've never been in there before so yeap. Someone bring me there again please!

To Daddy, Mum, Syabrina, Syabiqah, Yazid, Yasir, Naim, Xin Ren, Cheang Kit, Liang Xian, Atiqah, Syahirah, Ryan, Asyraf Owl, S.Aishah, Afiqah, Aidil, Syaikhul, Adi, Siva, Khairudy, Adil, Moorie Salina, Nuraishah, Amani, Adrie, Ipan, Nabilah, Genie, Jess, Zuhaili, Benedict, Wei Yang, Nicholas, Kelly, Shirley, Nisa, Abi, Mun Mun, Jamie, Ika, Hafizah, Meta, Ghufran, Glen, (Qis)Tina, Faiz, Joycelyn, Sudrano, Lucas and the whole lot of you on Facebook mwah mwah love y'all hehehe.

I just wanna thank all you lovely bunch for wishing me! Belated or on time, I don't care. You guys wished me and I want to give all of you hugs hehehe *virtual hug from me to you* Yay! I almost fell asleep while waiting for Atiqah and Syahirah to get ready lol we headed straight to Clarke Quay and the funny thing was, when we got out of the station, we didn't know the way to G Max. And we actually made one huge round to get out to the river and we climbed 90 unnecessary steps because of that lmao k.

The ride was incredible and just so de-stressing because we screamed so much.We've always wanted to let it all out and we finally did. Unfortunately, we didn't buy the video because we apparently were screaming vulgarities and crude words the whole time. So it's not really a nice video to watch.......

Had lunch at BBQ Chicken. And that was about it, yep. OH, we three wanted to get a BFF piercing. But we didn't, only Syahirah got hers. Hmm oh well.

YAY FOR 19 NOVEMBER BABIES HEHE

The new Youtube look

2011-12-02T12:10:00.001+08:00

MUR by APOLLO Architects and Associates

2011-11-27T00:13:00.001+08:00

I am loving this house that I found while browsing Dezeen! It's so simple yet really gorgeous. I think if I ever could only afford a small house in the future, I'm gonna open up every space until I end up with a house like this! Hehehe I was never so fond of the design on houses and buildings before I entered this course. I used to think that good houses meant good furnishing. But nope, a house can look good even without furniture. Everything I see, I look at it through an architect's eyes. I can't even.........

Very very nice. Well done Apollo!

George Carlin speaks.

2011-11-26T00:27:00.001+08:00

Title of the video says it all. 'Nuff said.

Think.

2011-11-25T23:39:00.001+08:00

I'm still trying to type out my birthday post. There's so much to say but I can't put them in words. These days have been really a whirlwind of emotions. And I want to let it all out over here but I know I might regret saying things over here.

Sometimes it just feels like a really lonely life. I woke up this morning feeling exactly that way and I can most certainly tell you why but I won't. Not yet. And those times where you try and make an effort but then nothing happens after so it's like you did something all for nothing. But then when something does happen, you feel like you screwed up. Okay I don't know if this makes any sense at all but it does to me. Everything that's in my mind right now aren't running through coherently.

I just want to say that the people you want most to stay in your life always leaves but the opposite happens for the people whom you don't want in your life but they stay there. Rooted. And you know what? I'm feeling really sad right now. Because I never imagined this to ever happen. And also, I hate how I'm in the situation where karma hits me right back immediately. The past two days have been tough. And I was feeling really down on Monday too, to the extent that I just wanted to finally drop out of the course because I really couldn't do it anymore. But I really wanna thank my friends who said that I would make it through and that everything would be alright. Honestly, only one of them knows the real reason why I was feeling that way.

Stay tuned little ones, I'm working on the post:)

2011-11-21T00:28:00.001+08:00

17.

2011-11-19T11:20:00.001+08:00

Thank you to all the lovely lovely people who've wished me so far! Mwah mwah hugs and kisses to all of you and some of your birthday wishes made me laugh! A really big big thank you!!!!!

For now, I'm going to get ready and go out with my girlsssss @atiqahfantastic and @SyahirahM!! We're going reverse bungee jumping at Clarke Quay! If you guys wanna see me, come over hehehe and the thing that just happened a few minutes ago made me want to cry. I know the 11:11 thing is bullshit to a lot of you and probably for me too but I couldn't help but feel really overwhelmed when I saw that on my phone and laptop screen so yup ahhh I'm rambling too much!!!

I'll update you guys soon byeee xx

B1RTHD△Y W1SHΣZ (¡uǝǝʇuǝʌǝs ƃuıuɹnʇ ɯ,ı)

2011-11-13T22:56:00.001+08:00

Pierce my nose
Ride reverse bungee with Atiqah and Syahirah
Dye my hair turquoise
Go to bali
Get a hamster
I want my dad to celebrate my birthday with us
I want a huge birthday cake made with chocolate and sorts
Grow a little taller, lose a little weight
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee bender
Lomo camera
Elephant Parade elephant
Swatch watch
Dr Martens
Go rock climbing
Get a cute BB phone cover or a turquoise faceplate
Nice teeth, good health
U.

I don't care if heaven won't take me back.

2011-11-13T21:22:00.001+08:00

Hi. I am procrastinating and abstaining from my pile of rubbish projects that's going to affect my grades and determine my education in the future. Ah but, this is just going to be a quick one since it's been a week since I've last updated!

Last week has been a little bit of hell. No sleep, no money, no sun. Bad, very bad indeed. Just a lot of overnighters with my penknives and liners, butter paper and styrofoam boards. Sometimes I wonder if I really took the right course. Yeah, it's true I've always wanted to get into SP's architecture since Secondary 3. But I never really knew the real reason behind it. Was it because my mom took that course when she was in SP too? Was it because D&T could bring me no where but to design courses? Was it because I knew it was near impossible for me to get into/cope in JC?

But whatever it is, many things have happened to keep me staying in this. My hilarious lecturers, the fact that I have a classroom/studio so I don't have to move from LTs to tutorial rooms or whatnot, I have a personal desktop computer, love the satisfaction of finishing a project, love the feeling of having new improvements in a design after consultation, the sofa, my wife, being a badass and eating in the studio, library's just nearby and my class.

Probably one of the few good reasons why I should stay; It's the girls. I can't leave them :')

Oh and Katy Perry's The One That Got Away music video is finally released at 12mn on the 12th of November (yesterday morning)! Can't feel anything but lovelovelovelove for this video! Have been wanting and wishing for a video for that song since somewhere in October. I've never actually followed an artist this much, not even for Go Radio or Mayday Parade or A Day To Remember or Weezer or Relient K or The Click Five...... Trololol yeah I was a fangirl for TC5!

Mmkay shall stop right here right now baiiiii xx

P.S. I was thinking of vlogging hmm..............

Where we were once.

2011-11-07T22:44:00.002+08:00

So this afternoon, while I was taking a shower, I decided that I should go out of the house and do my work. I mean hey, I always get distracted from my work like how I am right now, when I'm at home. So being away by myself without anything except my work was the only option.

I went down to this space that overlooked a field and beyond that was the TPE. Really pretty and quiet place to do my work. It's like a void in between two blocks of flats and HDB just dumped a table with holes right in the middle. And it's friggin filthy with all the bird poo and cigarette buds and whatnot. I've only been there once, to do my work as well. Got quite a number of things done but there was a lot of wind so my stuff kept flying away -_- I was there from 3pm to 7pm hehehe. All alone. Oh and there was this boy who just went for a run and then when he walked past the table, he smiled at me so I smiled back. But what I found weird was that he looked like @riduzanzm....... Hmm. Was that you?? o.o He went by twice.

So after my mum called for me to come home, I packed my things and was contemplating if I should take the bus or just walk home like I always do. I picked the latter option. And being the very smart girl that I am, I tried to cut through the blocks to get to the main road near WSPS. But guess what? (Say "What?")

I got lost. Hahahahhahaha what a joke omfg. But I'm serious as hell. I really did get lost and I was panicking because that place was like some foreign land! But actually I walked past WSPS without knowing and then I made a wrong turn and I ended up behind LSS. I didn't know it was LSS either! Shitbags man, I swear. My sense of direction and the lack of knowledge about the town that I've been living in for my entire life is so screwed up and just not there. I need like a Singapore map in my head so that I know where places are. I need a mind map......... HAHAHA NO PUN INTENDED! K lol

BUT!!! THANK GOD MY PHONE HAD A MAP OMG SO I FOUND MY LOCATION AND MADE A ROUTE BACK TO MY HOME. Sigh. I can never live without my BB or tablet... When I'm out alone. I just walked wherever it said I should and Bam! I came right up to Pasir Ris CC. Fffuuuh, never have I felt so glad to see the main road!!

That's my exciting adventure for the day. Oh and a great work out. How was your day?

The colour raddd

2011-11-06T20:50:00.003+08:00

I'd like to wish all my Muslim friends out there, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha!

So today I woke up to the smell of curry and baking brownies. One of the reasons why I love my mom and sister so much is because they bake a lot. Hehehe. It's time for me to learn too! There were two tins of brownies and one caramel cake mmmm yum! Mm, basically spent my morning listening to Boyce Avenue plus Megan & Liz's version of Last Kiss by Taylor Swift. Just felt like listening to that sad sad song because I was feeling rather down. Then my mood gradually went up and I was listening to David Guetta, Adele and Britney Spears. Oh, ended the morning with Katy Perry's The One That Got Away! Was dancing to it with my oldest sister and when my bro woke up after spending the night on the sofa, he was like "Dahell? What kind of dance is that!" Hahahaha we were jumping and hopping and doing the robo dance to that song. Tskkkkk we'll get kicked out of clubs if we ever get into one and dance that way.

Oh and that sister of mine, the one who was dancing with me, she's going away for 21 days to the country I've always wanted to go to; Germany. I hate her so much for that! It's an immersion trip with her school and one of the universities there and since she took German language classes, she has an advantage of some sort. Grr. Wait, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is that she's going when it's still winter over there. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF ARGHHHH ASDFGHJKL!!! I wanna go to Germany during winter too:( With... You. Sigh.

Alright, keep the spirit up! No more being sad or depressed, at least for this post! Humour yourselves with these silly photos! Trust me, I'm not one who likes to take pretty pictures.

mwahhh xx

The 20 great things in life (O)

2011-11-06T20:31:00.002+08:00

(Haven't completed this list after many many months! The latest one was one month back -_-)

Oreos
Oatmeal Cookie Chunk from Ben & Jerry's
Old English
Omelettes
One Night Only (band)
Orange juice
Overalls, hehehe what I used to wear when I was a kid
Owls
Oktoberfest
Ocean
Omegle and the win chats
Open mindedness
Olympus PEN cameras
Ovaltine Ovomaltine biscuits
Orchard Road
One That Got Away by Katy Perry :)
Overseas trips with friends
One Tree Hill
Oven baked ice cream
(The) Oatmeal

Hello.

2011-11-05T00:58:00.002+08:00

It's 12:41 right now and I have to go to work later on but I'm still not asleep. Please tell me why!

I just confirmed my purchase list with Genie and I've spent a little more than a $100 in Korea's GMarket. Sigh. Thank goodness I've gotten my allowance and that I'm working. If not, my savings would be emptying out really quickly. Hmm, mustn't have meals in school. Should just bring food from home. Yes, I live cheap like that ;)

Lately, my days have been... Like as if I've hit turbulence or something. It happens everyday. Every night is a difficult night. I wake up in the morning and think for a split second that "Today will be good." But once I hit the showers and my thoughts start to flood my mind, it just goes back to the way I felt the night before. A cycle. A vicious cycle. Despite everything though, I still stand by my decision not only because I think I should but because I feel I should. But I don't want it to be the case of having more bad times than good. Sigh. All I want right now is to not have arguments anymore, and for something really good to happen.

NEED THIS SO BAD

2011-11-04T09:06:00.000+08:00

Am loving this.

2011-11-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

Tinie Tempah - Till I'm Gone ft. Wiz Khalifa

2011-11-03T12:44:00.001+08:00

@ATIQAHFANTASTIC

2011-11-03T00:17:00.003+08:00

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY TO YOU, ATIQAH NABIHAH!!!!

This would be my forth time wishing you hehehe love you so much laaa.

I will get you something and you will get it one day. Soon. Have a great great birthday although you're pretty sick right now sighhhh. And also, you've been having a pretty hard time. Just know that the both of us will be there for you okie? So get better soon, enjoy your birthday, have a happy birthday and stay happy and healthy and eat well and study hard and meet up with Sya and I very sooooon! Miss you two truck loads!!!!!! Love you xoxo mwahhhh

Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday.

2011-11-02T18:47:00.001+08:00

Monday was Halloween and yeap, like I said, I dressed as a black cat. >^.^< (my cat face with whiskers hehehe) It was an all black day for most of my classmates because the easiest dress code to match Halloween with was just black... It was also probably the first time for me coming to school in a single colour! Most of the time, I was just cooped up in the studio doing my work. SP didn't have any students roaming around in weird costumes anyway. Or maybe I just didn't see, but you know what I mean.

This would be yesterday afternoon's flash flood outside our studio. It's happened a few times already, if I'm not wrong. But that's not the point. The point is that it flooded in the sheltered walkway–the only sheltered walkway and so it was impossible to get to the toilet without getting drenched. Sigh. SP needs to renovate the entire W4, 5 and 5A because everything is falling apart and flooding and whatnot. My classroom's roof leaks onto the computer desks and there's now algae growing on it it's so gross man eeeew. And the other room that we use for RWP lessons as has a leaking roof. IT'S LEAKING EVERYWHERE! Dahell......

Also, I was 4 and a half hours early for school yesterday because I didn't have a morning lecture/tutorial as my lecturer went for reservist. I reached school at like 7.30am and I just started doing my work. Hurhur. Everyone thought I was crazy, but I wasn't the only one who was early!

As for today, it was a little different as compared to the other mornings when I'm making my way to school. I took the train to school today (yeah woooo *celebrates* trololol) The other time that I took the train to school in the morning this term was on the first week back in school. My mom was sick so she couldn't drive me to school. I've somehow forgotten how the morning rush felt like. I had to gobble my nutella + peanut butter balls cereal sandwich down and I could hardly savour the taste:( And I only had one of it, so I knew I'd get hungry in school again so I brought the peanut butter balls and cookie cereal in my lunchbox teehee.

Walked to the MRT as usual and was dying when I got there. It was also such a hassle because I was lugging around my library book on Bali houses (Bali Modern: The Art of Tropical Living) and my tablet plus my heavy bag. Sigh. I almost missed the stop at Dover because I was busy listening to Mayday Parade so loudly on my tablet and the earpiece were so good in noise cancelling muahahah. So I grabbed my stuff and rushed out of the train and tried to get my card out of my bag and then my card had some error when I tried to tap out -_- zzzzzz....

Reached class at around 8:15. So late, tsk. Had HTA lecture which was pretty interesting because we were on the Gothic era of architecture. Andddddddd... This it the outfit for today:)

HAHAHAHH K the last photo is so irrelevant pfft k bye xx

Hiiiya.

2011-10-30T23:04:00.001+08:00

Just a quick one, happy Halloween to everyone! I'm going to dress up as a cat tomorrow hee xx

JLS - Take A Chance On Me

2011-10-28T08:39:00.001+08:00

#getsickofmyface

2011-10-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

NY

2011-10-26T20:16:00.002+08:00

Try to ignore my stern face........ I just wanted to show off my new cap heheheheheheh. I know, it's so overrated and shit to have a fitted cap but you know, I've always wanted one! And I'm gonna get some more, once I have money to spend. Again. I want two blue, a red and blue, turquoise and a red one. And I want the Cobra Commander one. Love the colour omggszxsxz

So anyway, happy Deepavali to everyone! Thank you for the holiday too. Really needed one despite just having resumed the school term. Life's like that, everyone wants the break to never end, but still learn something. Or the second part might just apply for me only, I don't know.

School has been normalish. And as always, I have trouble thinking of what to wear everyday it's way more stressful than doing my project sometimes. And I also got my first semester's grades and they suck balls so much. I have like 6 Bs and 2 Cs. I really need to buck the fuck up because I wanna be an Asian who gets A grades and not Bs or Cs, which makes me a Bcian (pronounced: Bee-sian) sigh I'm so average. Average will get me no where, I tell you. But you know what? Thank goodness it's only 30% and this Sem's 70%. I will get through this, I will get As for this semester!!!!!!! Bye kids, the architect needs to get to work xx

Oh, and I wanna get this too. Hehehe. I mean, though they have it free in PDF online...........

Impression: Katy Perry.

2011-10-20T05:34:00.000+08:00

I made two collages which I hope to print really soon before school starts but I doubt the printing shop would be open so I might be so screwed.

And good morning by the way:) I woke up at 4am on the couch after accidentally dozing off. I still have my mind map to do byeeee xx

End of my vacation. (Chalet post)

2011-10-16T14:31:00.000+08:00

So the chalet was... Exciting for the first day/night only because the second day, we all just lazed around and did pretty much nothing except eat a lot. We had McDelivery for lunch and Canadian Pizza for dinner. We all agreed that if we were to live our lives like how we did that day forever, we're gonna grow freaking fat and gross.

Wednesday didn't start out really nicely because it was raining and we couldn't book in since we were all under 18 (sad, but true) so we had to get Ben's dad to book us in. But it was still fun waiting because we were throwing about this dead beetle at each other, playing The Binding of Issac game and attempted to be a DJ and remix song which was quite a fail, by the way. Hahaha! Finally checked in at around 4 and settled in asap. I almost always feel like a boy when I'm around them, but it's normal. While some of them were playing poker, I was watching Jobs For Juniors on TV -_- And I need to get used to their habits whenever I'm at a chalet with them because the place gets too messy that it hurts to even walk around.

Had dinner at Changi Village. Good food! I've actually never eaten there before because I don't eat out a lot. Neither do I go out a lot. Hah! Walked back to the terrace from there, which took longer than expected. That night was the best night so far for me because everyone was laughing and screaming and just seemed so happy. It makes me twice as happy when I see people feeling happy! Unfortunately, I had to reluctantly leave my happy tree friends (this title actually seriously applies because they're the Christmas Tree people hahaha) at around 11:30 because I'm not allowed to stay over and my sister was picking me up that night. I wish I could have stayed because I really wasn't in the best of shape to move around too much. But without a doubt, Wednesday night was the best night that I've had in a long long time. Thank you, you bunch:)

Oh and I don't have any pictures and whatnot. That's sad:(

Aloha Changi.

2011-10-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

I am so so so sexcited for the chalet later muahahahaha just kidding about the sexcite part lol but I need to tell my mom that the chalet isn't at Coasta Sands, it's a 30 minute bus ride from Pasir Ris to Aloha Changi Netheravon Terrace. Sigh. She's only gonna allow me to stay there till 11pm, then my sister would fetch me after that:(

Yesterday was such a bad day. I didn't talk to a lot of people because I didn't have the mood to. Even if I did, I think I was just going through the motions of talking to them. Something is wrong with my moods. Oh and something cool and exciting happened this morning....... I WENT FOR A RUN!!!! Wooo, I know thank you thank you. I deserve a box of Cadbury chocolate right now. Hahaha I'm only joking. Okie, shall get ready to go out now byeee xx

5 more days to school reopen.

2011-10-12T00:54:00.001+08:00

Mon, Oct 10, 2011 -- BE110Y: Preparing for Semester Two
Dear all,
In preparation for Semester Two, you should try to find time over this week to read at your own pace the Development Control Parameters for Residential Development from the Urban Renewal Authority (URA)'s website.
You can download this from www.ura.gov.sg. On the right, search for "DC Handbook Series", then select "Development Control Parameters for Residential Development". You should familiarize yourself with (1) Overview, (2) General Considerations and (3) Landed Housing.
If you have time, also familiarize yourself with "Gross Floor Area", found on the same links as as stated above.
See you all at 9 a.m., ADRC, on Monday 17th October.
Thanks!

New task. I feel like an architect already.......

I can breathe you in.

2011-10-11T12:05:00.000+08:00

Got milk?
Lately, the things that I've craved to eat/drink for are weird and odd. I've been wanting to eat waffles since forever and drink iced chocolate soya from Mr Bean and Meiji fresh milk. I don't even know why...... But it's a must to drink milk every single day now. I feel like a small kid... Even @shingteo loves drinking the Meiji milk!!! I guess I'm not only one now:)

Anyway, I have been missing in action for four days partly because I'm lazy and partly because I've been working and doing my drawing portfolio (HELL YES, IT'S SUBMITTED ALBEIT NOT SO COMPLETED!!) so this is my update for the past four days!

Drew and lot and a lot more. Oh and I met with my wife last week to do some drawings too hehe. I know that I had the entire holidays to complete that shit folio but I was lazy okay? Sigh:( A lot of things has been happening too, which kinda puts me off the mood to draw. I love drawing and writing but sometimes the right mood to do either of them isn't there.

After submission, headed to Clementi with my lovely classmates and had lunch! I was actually contemplating if I should have lunch but then I was supposed to go eat rojak with @riduzanzm but he ditched me to eat good food at a kenduri:( While I was there in Clementi eating Pepper Lunch at Foodfare. But nevermindddd, at least I caught a movie with the class! Real Steel was amazing in every way!! Hugh Jackman was looking freaking good omg but somehow he reminds me of my brother wtf lol. @AquilaDana and I couldn't stop fidgeting in our seats because it was mind blowing awesome and exciting and every fight that the robots were going through, it was just asdfghjklqwhqnbloody awesome k! So so soooo, you guys have to watch that movie if you haven't! You'll miss out on all the action dude.

Now for a complete opposite of Real Steel, anot so action packed movie, I'm streaming in Friends With Benefits on Funshion! Hehehe byeee xx

°\_(ツ)_/°

2011-10-07T20:57:00.002+08:00

Hehehe I was bored............. Oh you guys can read/go through my posts for October 7, that would be the four posts after this xx

Ed Sheeran - The A Team

2011-10-07T20:43:00.001+08:00

I can't get enough of this, it's a beautiful sad song :')

Semester 2 time table

2011-10-07T20:10:00.000+08:00

Mondays 8:30am to 3:30pm
Tuesdays 12pm to 4:30pm
Wednesdays 9am to 1pm
Thursdays 10:30am to 5:30pm
Fridays 8am to 3pm

The breaks ah, I can't take it because it's so bloody long. Ah well, I know it will come useful one of those days where I have to complete some big project. Heh.

Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got you

2011-10-07T18:50:00.001+08:00

Language of a teenage girl:

2011-10-07T18:38:00.001+08:00

My favourite line, "I'm just tired".

Funnily, I never really knew what the hidden meaning was for that. I've always felt... Empty whenever I say that. I wouldn't expect anyone to get whatever hidden meaning there is to whatever I say because sometimes I don't say things that have hidden meanings. Sometimes I wish I didn't screw things up so easily.

I want to write out so many things right now because I want to let the world know how I feel but I just somehow don't want to let you know how I'm feeling because it might scare you. Okay I'm not completely sure if it would, but even with me reading what I wrote a day later, it scares the shit out of me because I'm just so honest.

Let's just put it this way, I want to talk to you about anything and everything but sometimes it feels like you don't want to talk. I can look at you the entire day. I want to walk everywhere with you. I want to spend every waking minute with you. A day without speaking to you is like not breathing for a day.

Right now, I'm contemplating if I should click "Publish" or "Save". But then again, you readers are reading this so that means my decision was already decided.

He's supposed to be here.

2011-10-06T21:10:00.003+08:00

Had corn for dinner:) I love love love corn hehehe and now I'm in love with something new too! Charlottesville's alternative rock band Parachute. I used to only listen to like this one song, She Is Love because it was always on the radio but that's about it. Then I came across Forever & Always by them and I just instantly fell in love with them. I have a playlist with all their songs on it and I'm listening to it right now ♥ I'm feeling happy today.

So, look at this sexy beast right here! Brand new baby of the Apple company (RIP Steve Jobs) and it's so chio in white!!!! But I'm still leaning heavily on the iPod Classic side....... Ahh I can't make up my mind help me please:(

Classic has like 160GB worth of memory, Touch with 8GB at it's cheapest price.
Both Classic and Touch comes in black and white.
Touch is cool because I can play a lot more games and stuff on it, Classic can't.
Touch has cameras, Classic doesn't.
Classic is classic and old school, Touch has a touch of modernism (hahaha no pun intended!)

But then again, I already have a mtrl xm and it's like a larger version of a Touch. I just want it because if I'm too lazy to bring around my Xoom or like if I'm going for a run, the iPod's extremely useful. Anyway, I'm not just worrying about which iPod to get. All Time Low just freaking started playing at Wavehouse @ Sentosa and I'm not there :(((( I wanna cry because I haven't gone for any of my beloved bands' concerts! Good Charlotte's coming this November and if I don't go........ /// wrists

xx

Buffalo Soldier.

2011-10-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hello doobly doobz! I am tired and aching and in pain and lost. Hah, such excitement my life has brought me these past few days. As you guys can probably tell, I'VE CHANGED MY BLOG LAYOUT! Mmhmm, you know it's cool because well, I think it's cool and I know I don't make sense. It's called the Dynamic theme mainly because it's... Dynamic. It's a little bit like Tumblr though. But then again, it's not so yeah. Anyway guys, I've changed my Twitter name. It isn't @ThElisyaXchange anymore, it's @ELISY4RK :) So........ Yup that's about all that I have to say.

Oh, I've tried to start running again because I've been feeling rather unfit. It's been almost a year since I've stopped running so regularly. I can't even believe it myself. Unfortunately, it's hard for me to wake up early to go for a run but nonetheless, I'll always try my best to wake up and go for a morning run. I've already skipped two days of it, because it was raining and I just couldn't wake up. I just need to prove to myself that I can really do something. However, lately I've been feeling like I can't do anything at all. Sucks to be me sometimes.

Alright time check, 00:14. I'll make a move, goodbye and goodnight xx

The 20 great things in life (N)

2011-10-06T00:13:00.005+08:00

Nutella
N-Dubz
Night
Navy blue
Nuggets
Nose piercings
Noodles
Nikon cameras
Nail polish
Napping
Nixon watches
New things
Nenek ;)
New Look
Nepolean Dynamite
Naya Rivera <33
Notebooks to doodle on
Nerdszx
Neptune
Needing someone

Hey there,

2011-10-05T01:46:00.002+08:00

It's pretty hard to hold my life together now. I don't even know what I am trying to hold up either. The past couple of weeks have been zipping by like as if I'm the driver of an F1 car driving through roads that are accompanied by gorgeous views. It has been immensely draining for me to even start a day right.

Nope, I'm not sad. I just don't know what to do anymore. There are things (or more appropriately, someone) that I want and need so badly but I just don't know how to get it or what to do to make it work out fine. And there are things that I need to make clear to so as to not confuse any more souls that are losing their way. Because of me. So I'm really sorry to all those whom I have... Wronged. I know I might put off a very ignorant front right now to you all because of what I've done, but it was never my intention. I've tried to refrain myself from pushing people away just because of something small, but eventually what happens is what has always happened.

I just felt like blogging this all out because it's 1:33am and I feel kinda stupid. This is honest hour; I get so frighteningly honest about things at around this time of the day/night. I'm not saying that I'm hardly honest at normal daylight hours, just that whenever it reaches a timing like now, my brain gets too tired from filtering the things I want to say to people, the things that I know will be wrong and will definitely make me regret saying or doing it once I'm in my wide awake state. That's why I don't talk to a lot of people this late, except for a special few because they know me and I know that they can take my honesty if they have a conversation with me right now.

I am quite certain that I'm gonna regret posting this up one day but hey what the hell, you have to know me! The truth will be told eventually too so deal. With. This.

2011-10-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

My new eyecandyyyyy xx

Cool mom.

2011-10-02T11:03:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY MUMSIE MAGICAL MAMA!!

I love you to bitszx even though I can't stand it when you nag but hahaha every mom nags so it's totally understandable. Enjoy your day mummy!

Releasing the girly girl within me.

2011-10-02T10:50:00.002+08:00

H&M

Coat S$119 in Petrol.

This coat so chio maxxxxxx!! But the thing is, I'm planning to buy a thick coat just to wear in class because apparently my class is the North Pole of W5A so yes, wearing winter wear in class is so appropriate! Sigh, I wish there was a cheaper coat like this.

Forever 21

Sublimated Tribal Graphic Top

Classic Chambray Shirt

Contrast Knit Cardigan

They're on the Forever 21 website, along with Heritage 1981 and Style Deals. The last time I went down to 313 @ Somerset, the Forever 21 store was like in tribal season! It was sooo tempting to buy some of their tops but unfortunately, I just spent $180 at H&M that day so I didn't want to spend anymore because my heart will break. I was just satisfying my eyes by looking at good clothes hahaha.

I haven't gotten my month's allowance, but once I get it, I'll definitely drop by F21 and if they still have the tribal print tops...... Muahahah! My mom's gonna scream when I get home with all the apparel! And I love this cardigan!! It looks like a baseball jacket + double breasted coat all in oneeeee. Meep. Must get must get! I just hope that they have this in Singapore. So if anyone of you ever spot this in any F21 store in Singapore, please please please let me know thxxx love you guys xx

I can only window shop.

2011-09-29T21:18:00.002+08:00

Hi guise!! I just had a wonderful window shopping experience again today. Came across sooo many gorgeous things that I can and want to buy! No doubt that my wallet can cover all those expensive shit but just that my heart wouldn't be able to take it. Hahaha.

So there's this brand of bags, dothebag (Do The Bag) and apparently they have very simple yet cool looking bags. Bags that I actually find very cool and sophisticated! I've always wanted a bag that was just simple with not a lot of buttons and whatnot. Bonus point, they have cool buttons! Silver buttons that open when twisted, instead of the conventional pull apart ones.

These are from the cubicbag series, the ones that were on display. I especially love the maroon/red and navy blue bag! They sell for about $200+ so, ouch on my wallet *wince* Ah, the price of cool things~ And I think it's a German brand *thumbs up* I loveee Germany by the way:)

Next up: Nixon! I absolutely love their watches but no, I'm not looking at Nixon watches this time round. Instead, I'm eyeing their Fuller Bi-Fold zip wallet in Royal colour. $35 wallet, cheap for a branded wallet I guess.

Haaaa, I feel like I could spend just so much. But then again, I'm being materialistic and that's not good. But it's just that suddenly, spending on good expensive things doesn't seem so bad. I used to scrimp so much on my expenditure until recently when I went for a flea and bought this dress which was so cheap looking (it's from a flea, like what do you expect?) and my mom went, "Instead of buying cheap clothes all the time, why not save up and get better quality clothes once in a while?"

That kinda hit a nerve in my brain and it sort of reseted my thinking of shopping for my clothes and what not. And what's more, I'm surrounded with friends who like to spend a lot of $$ on good clothes. Peer pressure at it's best!

I don't even know why I'm telling you guys all these buy hey, I hope this sort of makes up for my lack of blogging for the past few weeks. Plus I still owe you all my Sarawak trip post! Wait for it guys, I'll be back soon xx

2011-09-27T00:11:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY ASYIQIN/@KIKIKIN!!!!!!

Hehehe. Have a wonderful day today <3333

6 days without my family

2011-09-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

Hello errbody! I'm back from my school trip to Kuching, Sarawak and I must say that even though it wasn't entirely up to my expectations, it was still as fun as ever! But then again, I always find everything fun even when it's not so happening. I guess what "fun" means to me is just to be able to laugh a lot and be happy. It doesn't necessarily have to have fun activities or whatnot, just good company:)

I'm gonna upload every photo tomorrow on Facebook or Picasa or whatever. There's a total of 1140 pictures so... Brace yourselves! Hahaha. And no no, don't worry. There are barely any camwhoring photos, almost everything is on food, people, buildings, houses, more food and more more food. Hehehe okie goodnight xx

The Cure.

2011-09-20T11:55:00.002+08:00

I was out yesterday just to slack and do pretty much nothing. I met up with @adeetude to accompany him to his school in Bishan to collect his F1 uniform and at the same time, we talked about a lot of things. Coincidentally, we were in the same train as Basher from Paya Lebar all the way to Bishan and we never realised! Hahaha.
We headed down to Plaza Singapura's Daiso because I remember coming across this really spongy casing that's around the size of my Motorola tablet and they even come in pretty colours too, like turquoise and hot pink. Unfortunately, Plaza Sing's Daiso was so limited in their collections so I couldn't find what I was looking for:(

Adi and I were joking and walking about so much and there was one time, he was on the phone and when we wanted to head down to Burger King, we made one huge round just to go down the escalator because I was following him and he was following me so it was like the blind following the blind -_- And then we paid the cashier at BK with all the 5 cents that we've got muahahah! It's #sosingaporean of us to get rid of all those useless shillings... But I kept the shiny 5 cent coins 8) And after thatttt, we headed back to Pasir Ris to lepak at seperate places.

Yep, that was about it and I came home at 7:30pm, just in time for dinner.

Jalan raya with my colleagues, 13th September

2011-09-19T11:46:00.002+08:00

I know it's almost a week since our raya, but oh well. Plus I haven't updated this space in 5 days:( It's funny how I would blog multiple times daily during school days but when vacation arrived, I did nothing.

Summing up last Tuesday, we went to MJ's house, then to Ridah's, Syaikhul's, mine, Khairil's, Elly's, Aidil's and finally our big boss's house, Ibrahim. And I have to say that the world is really small (or maybe it's just Singapore) because Ibrahim's son was my secondary school schoolmate and I only realised that on Tuesday. Such a shocker I swearrrrr!

And this time, it was a little much more fun compared to my other jalan rayas because we took a car! Normally, we're always moving about by buses. It felt like a family trip! There were 8 people in the 7 seater car initially, until Elly's brother Fariz came along later that night. So there were 9! Fuhhhh.

I wish I could put in more pictures but unfortunately, everything's in another camera so... :( These are just some.

♥

2011-09-14T19:57:00.001+08:00

HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY TO YOU YAZID AKA YAJIT!!

(That's my brother for you-.-)
Have an awesome 365 days of being 18 because you deserve it. Even though sometimes I do think that you do things that are really just plain stupid and wrong, I know what you're thinking when you're doing. I have felt the same way too:) I have to say that I am a lot like a boy (sort of) mainly because of you brah~ I grew up with you and everything we did, we did together. Our play time at home when we were younger were always with you, we built weird bug traps with pegs and baskets, we played with paper planes at our balcony and mine flew out of the window, we even shared a room and camped out together late at night (11pm was late for us then, I guess), we did our O levels together and we entered polytechnic together too albeit that you're in TP and I'm in SP. But what makes us still somehow connected with school is that your friends in TP are my friends in PRCS. Small world, ifkr.

Anyway, it's really cool that I have a bro like you. I know you'll never read this but hey, just to let it all out, I just wanna say that you are still my closest sibling. And that you are ze bestttttt! Happy birthday, once again.

#thoughts

2011-09-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

(Typing is so much easier than writing, even though I prefer writing)
I never said I wanted to lose you, because frankly, I don't want to lose a lot of people in my life. But what you did, you just ruined everything that was holding our friendship together. I mean really, you keep giving hints that are so damn obvious, about you thinking that maybe in future we might have "something". I really don't mind having you as my God brother, that's the limit. You've been a really good bro, but other than that, when you're trying to hint that you still like me more than just a God sister, I get annoyed.

When I heard that you still felt something for me, I was like "Okayyy, hopefully this just blows over because you should realise that we're just God siblings." But then you started with the hinting, telling me that maybe in future things would change for us, we could get together, we should last forever, all your past lovers and heartbreaks and then that very awkward cheek kisses and sticking to my side the entire day that day wherever I went/walked/sat/stood. Couldn't you feel how uncomfortable I felt as you did those things? I couldn't tell you because I just couldn't.

As my bro, you should know where you ultimately stand, you should know where to draw the line, you should know that you shouldn't cross that line, you should know.

Jalan raya last Friday, 9 September

2011-09-12T18:32:00.003+08:00

It's a loop. Aku nak... Teh... Ais. Klaka? #abdulwasright Gaylerrrr.

I never really hang out with them, but last Friday, while out with all of them, it felt like I've known them for quite a while. I mean it's cliche to say that but yeah, it really did feel that way. Although they could tell that I was feeling rather awkward and uncomfortable at times, I'm happy that they did lots of funny things to ease the tension.

To be honest, I couldn't quite enjoy the most of that day until it was almost the end. 'Nuff said about anything for this post, I'll let the pictures (all taken by Sufyan aka Soup Ayam/Astrid Arnaga/Bob Mullet! I tell you ah, this boy has so many other funny names hahahahahahah idek why lmao) do the talking:)

Look at Fal's face!!!!!!!

Earning money while visiting houses

2011-09-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

I know I know, I haven't updated my blog regularly like I thought I would be able to since holidays started:( I've been occupied with a lot of things. Work, jalan raya with my friends and like catching up on sleep hehehe.

Yesterday's jalan raya with Syafiqah, Zam, Naufal, Nawfal, Zuh, Indra, Ipan, Mus, Flo, Soup, Adi and Afiq was funnnnnn!! I'll update soon after today's raya with OGLs:) Byeeeee xx

Honesty and paranoia

2011-09-04T21:18:00.001+08:00

Here's something you should know about me: I'm too honest and too paranoid sometimes. Okay maybe all the time.

The thing about being too honest is that it scares people off because I reveal too much. It's like obscene honesty. It's really scary sometimes, the things that I think up in my head. Maybe that's because I don't usually do the "heart-to-heart" with anyone about myself. I'm really not much of a speaker. I think that I sound better and clearer, albeit just a bit too clear and straightforward, in writing/type. I can't express myself whenever I speak, it's just plain impossible for me to. I'd only get like half, heck, maybe a quarter of what I'm thinking across to the person I'm telling my problems to. And I know for sure, that all my thoughts are dying to explode out of my brain because I've been keeping to myself since... Forever. Writing them out only helps to ease the tension that I'm feeling at that point of time. So technically, I'm still keeping everything to myself because no one is alowed to read my diary. And I'm still torturing myself with my own thoughts.

So that was why when I let my two bestfriends read my drafts texts that were 12 pages long about my deepest thoughts, they said that they have not seen this side of me. Never. It's like they just got to know an entirely new person. The saddest part about it is that now, when they see me happy, they know that I'm not completely happy.

It's funny how it seems like I'm perceived as a cheery person. Or that's what I perceive of myself because I'm always laughing like a fool. But then at times when I suddenly emerse in deep thinking and self reflections, I find that I have issues. I mean, everyone is bound to have certain issues. But for me it's like, I never knew I was that sad. In fact, sad is an understatement. Sometimes it's a side of me which I myself am not familiar with.

par·a·noi·a /ˌparəˈnoiə/

Noun: A mental condition characterised by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically worked into an organised system.

Generally, everyone gets paranoid sometimes. But for me, I think I'm a bit excessive? Maybe it's intuition + paranoia = my frightening thoughts. I come up with every scenario possible whenever something goes... Off. It gets so crazy in my head that sometimes I don't even know if it's really me thinking or if it's someone else.

But then again, whenever I have a hunch about something, it normally ends up true. So fml because this is always happening. Like when it's going good with someone I like very much, there's this sudden coldness the day after, not gradually but like really, it's sudden. Then I'd be like ok, what did I do wrong? And I'll get paranoid and start thinking up a storm about why this is happening and whatnot. It's so extremely frightening:( And then whatever gut that I'm feeling, it ends up true. That's life for me. I don't think I'd get anyone who I'd like and have them liking me back because things like this will always happen. That's just great.

Malay New Year.

2011-08-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

There you go peepz! Just some of the silly Raya photos. I honestly really love how we always make a fool of ourselves hahahah! The food was great at my Uncle's place because Nenek and Aunt cooked:) Best food in the world!! Besides my mom's heehee. There was this funny thing that I did during that visit, and that was opening every container and eating at least one of the kuih/keropok in the container. Hehehe I found it particularly odd and greedy at the same time. I mean, they are there to be eaten anyway! So I'm just helping myself out. And today was exceptionally crowded because there were 5 families in the house. Andddd that's about it!

Oh and I wore make-up today! Albeit light make-up. Yeah yay hurray for me, because I normally never ever put on make-up. Not even the slightest! Generally, the best part of every racial/religious/cultural/national/seasonal celebration is no doubt, FOOD! You have to agree with me, really. Hahaha. Okie bye xx

H&M FINALLY HEREヽ(´▽`)/ AHHHHH SHOPPING SPREE

2011-08-30T22:28:00.004+08:00

Black Coat S$59.90

Cognac Brown Bag S$24.90

Blue/Orange Skirt S$39.90

Black Dress S$59.90

Natural White Dress S$79.90

Dark Grey Shorts S$24.90

Black &DENIM Jeans S$17.90

Denim Blue &DENIM Jeans S$59.90

Cognac Brown Trousers S$39.90

Black/Grey Hooded Sweater S$24.90

GRAND TOTAL: S$432 KACHING
Like I have so much of money only :(